Did anyone else read "Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp? Dr. Karp describes Toddler-ese as speaking to your toddler in their “native tongue,” which involves repetition of short phrases and mirroring their feelings with body language and facial expressions. I discovered this was a fun way to deescalate temper tantrums, which we can all agree are so not fun!
The other day I was driving my teen to Hill Country Middle School. We had already had a LONG morning of mini standoffs like time to get up, please wear weather appropriate clothing and we have to go NOW!!! But I was keeping my cool. This teen was not going to set me off this morning. I was determined to have a lovely morning, enjoy my coffee and be a positive parent.
Now the ride to school was different. The car was a really small space with us way too close together and the tension felt more intense. I heard every little grunt as my terrific teen enjoyed the kind "bagel to go" I had provided, as we were running late and a hungry teen at school would be a recipe for disaster. I was so irritated. The chewing echoed in my brain.
The final jab hit me. "This is the wrong entrance again, Mom."
I felt my body tense up. I was not going to break!! I channeled some Life Ki-do lessons to stay like a river, float past this moment, and avoid becoming ice. Had I hit a rock? I needed a positive vision.
That happy baby flashed through my mind.
And then I spoke in a new language - Teen-Ese.
I responded. I perfectly imitated the tone, structure and added grunts just expressed to me because I had been hearing them and learning this language all morning. I mirrored the look of anger and frustration sitting next to me. It was exhillirating. I spoke to my teen in their language.
What happened after that?
My teen hesitated, gave me a long stare, and SMILED. The teen then proceeded to exit the vehicle LAUGING.
Best morning we have had in a long time.
Parents of teens - I see you. I feel you. YOU got this.
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